Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
my poor anus
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
