Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Did I show you my penis last night?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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