yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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