yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
