Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
