She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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