you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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