i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
