i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
