she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
