This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
