So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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