apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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