you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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