Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
