Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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