My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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