HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
