it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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