scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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