Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
