My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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