everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
