He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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