I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
do nipples grow back?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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