apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
