Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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