She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
