Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
