I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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