your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
