We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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