How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
