You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
