none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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