I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
