This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
