Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
