I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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