its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The best revenge is premature balding
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
