I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
