id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
