I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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