I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
