i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
