my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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