Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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