no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
