My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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