i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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