Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I will be naked everywhere
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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